Fruit of the Loom
Fruit of The Loom
Back before I had children, during one of the many times in my life when I’ve struggled with managing my money appropriately, I was visiting with my grandmother. What you need to know about my grandmother is that while she was a strong, Godly woman and truly decent and kind to other people, she was not exactly warm and fuzzy; at least, not to me. She was petite and thin and her house was always perfectly clean. If you dropped a crumb while eating, you would definitely notice, because it would have fallen on an immaculate surface. She wiped down the bathroom after each bath or shower; she laid out the duvet neatly before letting you sleep in the guest bed. Her outfits were always well put together and her jewelry always matched.
Growing up, her home was a bit of a haven to me. It was special, not because I felt particularly cherished there, although I’m sure she loved her grandchildren. It was because of the stark contrast between her house, her existence and my own. Our own house, filled with the noise and clutter only 4 children can create and expand upon, was often chaotic and messy. Our own house, though filled with good intentions, was also filled with stress. It was filled with the loud kind of stress, not the passive-aggressive-hide-under-the-surface kind of stress. There was a lot of yelling, which I am finding now that I have 3 small children of my own, is a difficult thing to squelch.
I found it incredibly refreshing to be at her house, sitting in her front room on her settee. Not a couch, mind you, a settee. You can’t find a handful of puzzle pieces and Cheetos aside a few stray socks (whose cleanliness is questionable) under the cushions of a settee. No, you sit quietly on a settee and listen to the loud grandfather clock march through the afternoon while you read your book and sit as lady-like as possible. On a settee you can think straight, if you don’t talk yourself into believing that the lack of mess somehow translates to a lack of warmth or comfort.
It was on this same settee I sat all grown up, visiting one day, with a woman I was trying to connect with as an adult. She was living in a retirement home after my grandfather had passed away and I tried my best to visit her as frequently as I could. I remember telling her that I knew there were more things that I could do myself to save some money. The idiotic example I used was not paying for a pedicure but rather, painting my own toenails. In hindsight, I wonder how my grandma restrained herself from rolling her eyes. She instead coolly told me about her own mother, Pearlie. She was a share cropper’s wife in rural Mississippi. They grew cotton, amongst many other things necessary to raise and feed a very large family in the 20’s and 30’s. She told me that her mother didn’t waste anything. They would plant the cotton, grow it, harvest it, raise as much money as they could from it and with the leftover pieces-here’s the kicker-she would make her own yarn and then MAKE socks for her children to wear. From the ground came LEFTOVER PIECES, which she used to keep her babies’ feet warm. That is a far and distant cry from simply avoiding the nail salon.
Once I get past feeling like an idiot, this is pretty inspiring. I didn’t think much on it at the time, other than being a little overwhelmed that someone during that period didn’t just run down to Target to grab another plastic wrapped package of Fruit of The Loom when they ran out or their old ones wore thin. Now that I am a mother of three and striving to be a Godly wife, this is pretty awesome to think about. I find it even more inspiring now. I am in a period of adjustment and trial. I am learning how to manage a home and 3 sweet children, our youngest being only 3 months. There are times when I feel an awful failure. There are times when I feel like my head is all jumbled up and I can’t see straight.
I am compelled though, to do more and to be more. I don’t have to depend on Target or Nordstrom for that matter, and all of the price tags within her glamorous walls. I depend on God, and I feel very strongly that there are so many ways I can be led away by society and what it teaches me I “need”, from the material “necessities” to the spiritual ones. I have an iphone that is constantly in my hand. I realize and confess that sometimes I am staring at it instead of one of my sweet babies’ faces when they are talking. There are missed opportunities there, for teaching, for loving on my little darlings. Sometimes I use it to divert my attention from my messy house, any “stressors” or even people. I make multiple runs to the store each week for things we “need”. I waste money and time because of laziness and a societal pressure to “buy” what I “need” when what it is teaching me I “need” is often excessive and frivolous.
I am on a journey and I am praying that I will get rid of the “excess” in my life and focus on God’s plan for me as a mother and a wife. There have been so many times that I just can’t see straight, I have been so overwhelmed. So, friends, pray for me and I will pray for you. If I can share what I am going through, maybe it might help you on your path and I know it will make me accountable for mine.
(The picture below is my grandmother. She sent this to my Grandpa while he was serving in WWII to show him that she was wearing heels. He wasn’t a tall man and while he liked it when she wore them, she hesitated because she didn’t want to be taller than him.)
I’ll report back here as I try to focus on the real tasks God has given me in raising good Christians and teaching them to serve.
