Texas Deb and the iPhone Detox Part III

I’m home sick today, again.  The upside is that I can write and not in the middle of the night.  At this point our routine is basically no routine.  I’m going to make the best of it.  I’m luxuriating over my scrambled eggs at ten thirty in the morning on a weekday. 

The thing I’ve noticed over the past couple of days is that I really like to share stuff and I’ve grown accustomed to the attitude that if I don’t post it on Facebook no one will know about it.  Which seems silly as I look at it there in black and white.  Alas, it’s the truth. 

I think it helps to share and communicate with others.  No one is an island.  I think God made us so that we learn from and lean on each other as we try to be near Him. 

What I really wanted to share became a list. 

I wanted to share how my patients at work teach me a lot.  We generally think of a birth as a good thing.  I know I do.  Lately I’ve seen women in all sorts of situations that I think I tend to shame outside of my work hours.  Drug using mommas.  Moms who must give up their kids not for the first but for the eighth time.  Moms who love their kids but do not have the financial means for the things that I can give my kids.  It humbles me.  Truly.  There’s a lot more I have to say about that but like I said this is a list.

I wanted to share how nice it was to come home to my family after a shift last night and hug my kids.  What a privilege it is to make lunches and do laundry.  Oh, my goodness, I just put THAT out there.  I don’t always like those things, but they are an indicator that I have these beautiful people in my life. 

I wanted to share that this morning I woke up sick, again.  I am so defeated.  I’m hobbling around on a gimpy foot, dizzy from the mucous filled pressure sealed container that is my head and coughing up a storm.  I feel good for nothing.  I had goals this week, and last week and all of this is getting in my way.  I HATE changing plans.  It doesn’t even matter what they are.  If I make the plan, I feel like such a failure if I must adjust.  There’s a glimpse at my inner psyche in case you were interested. 

I wanted to share that when my oldest child found out I was staying home from co-op sick, he bent over backwards to be a leader and take care of me and his brother and sister.  He brought me coffee while I was still in bed.  HE BROUGHT ME COFFEE.  Me.  The person who would set the timer on the coffee pot on my nightstand if it wasn’t a burn hazard. 

He offered to make me breakfast.  He made his brother oatmeal and his sister waffles.  He kept the dogs out of my room.  I’m dazzled at what a fine young man he is.  He really touched my heart and I’m so very proud of him. 

It stressed me out to miss things today, but I realized that had I internalized all of that and limited my view to my initial reaction and subsequent response from social media, a couple of things wouldn’t have happened.  First, I wouldn’t have gotten over any frustration.  I would’ve been able to laugh at it, but it wouldn’t have got any further than that. 

Secondly, I feel calm right now.  Not stressed or anxious.  I don’t know.  Maybe limiting my screen time makes me cope better with changes and unforeseen goings on.

I wanted to share how I’m really sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Then, as I looked around me with new eyes through the snot factory that has become my head, I had time to think about my blessings.  I turned my attention from my series of mild misfortunes lately and saw a lot more good things than I think I would’ve noticed had I posted my complaints on Facebook then eagerly awaited a response from friends. 

I do mean true friends.  I’ve gotten to where I keep up with people I never see on Facebook and actually really like to hear from them.  So, there’s a social media positive for you. 

The other thing I’ve noticed is Facebook can be limited but it is inevitable.  Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday party and I used Facebook to invite people.  So, when we found out that according to the forecast our bounce house we rented would likely end up floating down a rain river amongst chunks of ice we had to make a last-minute change to the location.  Facebook gets the word out. 

It’s also a fast way to keep track of groups that I belong to like our homeschool co-op. 

So, I guess the word this Friday is that my iPhone isn’t completely useless, and neither is Facebook.  My use of it in such abundance feels a bit like eating too many Cheetos or wearing my pajamas all day; kind of slovenly gluttonous.    Excessive. 

I will also say that while I see that the screen has become a necessary part of my life its really, really hard to limit my use of it.

Anyway, thanks for reading. 

Until tomorrow,

Texas Deb