In This my Fortieth Year... All the Remaining Parts
In this my Fortieth Year: Embracing Imperfection Part V, VI and all the other various parts
I love a good story. Whether it be a good book borrowed from a friend or a certain series about a time travelling nurse-then-surgeon and a handsome Scotsman I may or may not currently be obsessed with, I love a good tale.
It’s more than just entertainment. Good stories have changed my life and sometimes the way I look at the world; one of the jobs of good art.
Now, because I’m about to tell you about some books and shows I have to, by default, tell you the most important book that ever was or will be is the Bible so give it a gander.
Now, as I was saying,…
One of my favorite books was given to me by my mother in law long, long ago and has consistently inspired me to be and do better, to put my big girl pants on, calm the heck down and carry on in life. I pull it out and give it a read once and a while. It’s like going home and visiting with your wise grandmother who, having seen how you’re faring in the world, loves you, encourages you and instructs you.
The movie, Silverado, has long been a favorite. It encouraged me to take a closer look at history and I can’t help of think of it every time I see mountains with snowy peaks towering over vast ranchland. Subsequently I cannot help but think of how Good will Inevitably triumph over evil.
One of my favorite books is not a tale at all, but a historian’s study of how people lived in England during Queen Victoria’s reign which was many, many years that brought a nation from mostly rural dwellings into industrialization.
She delves into not only the timeline and the events but the stuff of life. She describes how people ate, socialized, got from place to place, how they were educated, even what kind of underwear they wore and where and how they went to the bathroom. THIS is the stuff I’m interested in.
I want to know how people lived. I want to know what it would be like to live that story or be a real human being during a certain period in history.
The thing about a good story, the often dangerous thing whether written or acted, is that it has a defined beginning, middle and end. Those of us paying attention in High School English would also say that it has a conflict, climax and resolution even if those must be analyzed by all the “artistic folk” to come to an agreement on the actual point of a story.
The telling thing about this is that our life, that we are currently living is an unfinished story. That’s right, we’re a living, breathing, hopeful Hallmark card of encouragement! Not really, but I find myself often caught up in the resolution, chiefly when I’m having trouble with something. The last two years have been that of strain, strife, hard decisions and hard work and most of all, HOPE. I’ve been ducking down in my turtle shell taking one little battle at a time hoping to see the bright side of each, individual day; hoping to make sense of it all and how it applies to my life, my spirit, my soul.
That’s a bit impossible, though. You see, embracing imperfection is one thing. Tying it in with your destiny and God’s plan for you is another matter entirely. For example, I’m trying to embrace the fact that I, as my imperfect self, had the gall to say I’d blog about this consistently for 6 whole weeks and here we are wrapping up at week 11. I hope this doesn’t seem like a cop-out (an odd term, I’m married to a cop…what does that even mean??). I feel like I’ve spent the past couple of years spinning my wheels, focusing in on the right now of my story and not really gaining any momentum for the future, the unknown, the parts of God’s plan as yet unwritten by human understanding.
All that to say, when you are in the thick of it, or just started out on a journey It’s very hard to see what this story will be like. What’s the point? What happens? Can we skip to the end? What does my story look like? Is it intriguing? Am I doing it right?
When I was a little girl… gosh, a lot of the times as a grown woman I will shamefully admit in this blog, I’ll think what my story looks like to some invisible party watching as a fly on the wall. I know that’s silly. It’s probably the effect of reading and watching too many good stories, but I don’t think it’s terrible to wonder what kind of character you are and what kind of impression you make on someone simply observing you.
This can be helpful, inspiring you to do great, impressive things. Conversely, this can pull all your attention to the inside of yourself and the present moment.
In an innocent effort to live our lives to the fullest I think that we unfairly discount the long run, the mini-series, the motion picture trilogies and the infinite possibility a good story has. Your life is a good story and also has infinite possibility. In our instant gratification society and a time of binge-watching shows on Prime and Netflix, we cannot be impatient with the timing of the life we have.
You see, if you’re so focused on RIGHT NOW then you aren’t really focused on God. He is the beginning, the end and everything in between and we cannot possibly see what he has in store for us. So, our bad days, our stories that are B movies at best, are still ok. We’re not done.
The mundane, the boring hard work and sweat that it takes to get something done like raise children, or get to retirement or accomplish our dreams, the desires of our hearts; we cannot possibly foresee what that beautiful story will entail when we’re finished.
Anyway, as I look forward to the next four weeks with regain perspective and strength, I’m going to talk with you about what I’m doing in my life for the betterment of myself, my family and those around me.
I’m back to reality after vacation and I’m starting some new things and revisiting some old that I believe are important to living a full life for God. Now, that’s going to look different for me than for you, but I hope you’ll read it anyway.
Talk to you soon,
Texas Deb
