A Spiritual Toddler
Christmas can be a wonderful time but I believe for most of us adults it comes with at minimum a certain level of stress. At the very least, pressure.
As I come off that Christmas high I also release myself from the pressure as if to say, “phew! We pulled it off! It was magical, the kids were happy and now we’re DONE!”. As I feel myself ease up a bit I begin to restore order and structure to my day, no longer being at the beck and call, the requirement to be flexible demanded by the season. I made 400 cookies that were completed unplanned two weeks ago, I’ve been SUPER FLEXIBLE, y’all.
Last month I was released by my neurosurgeon a year after my spinal fusion, for almost all activity to include working out. That was the starting block for me to make some needed change. I started a group work out again, meeting in the early morning and I have been so pleased with the mental benefits, the stress relief, the peace of mind that’s brought me in a short time.
The Bible tells us we are God’s children. That took me a long time to fully grasp. Having a complicated relationship with my own parents it was hard for me to visualize how a steadfast, loving, consistent parent might behave towards his or her children. I didn’t get it until I actually had my own babies. Even still, with my youngest at 3 and my oldest at 15, I’m learning more and more about our Heavenly Father and His nature.
I’ll tell you, this morning I feel specifically like God’s three year old.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, my own three year old had found a new excitement in his more mature understanding of Christmas. He asked to open presents every day in December. He woke up every morning exclaiming “It’s Christmas Morning! Santa is here!”. I’m sure he’ll be making the same exclamations for a few more weeks as he now understands more about the season and he’s even more excited. Though he grasped far more this year than he did at 2, he still wanted everything RIGHT NOW. He didn’t understand waiting until Christmas morning or why perfectly good presents must remain unwrapped. What three year old would?
As I talk about the stress of the season I should tell you this week has been difficult for me.
I was exhausted, I was ill and had a bout of vertigo (BPPV, as if I didn’t have enough nagging little health things) and I fought with my husband. Lots of things just immediately weighed down my shoulders as soon as the clock struck midnight the day after the magic of Christmas.
Just feeling up to working out again I woke up at 4:20 today, got my 15 year old work out buddy out the door and sweat for an hour, still battling the tad bit of vertigo I have when I lay down when I tried to do chest presses or other exercises.
When I got home I sent my kiddo to the shower and back to bed (he’s a happy little homeschooler with no where to be today) and I started my day, which unfolded like a day dream I’ve had for years.
Everyone was still asleep and the husband had prepared everything to just light a fire in the fireplace when it got cold enough. So I lit it. I let the dogs out and brought them in then I crunched through the frost covered yard to greet my chickens so I could let the ladies free range.
I took fresh eggs out of the fridge and began my family’s breakfast. Muffins rose in the oven and the house smelled like woodsmoke and banana walnut. My coffee was hot and the sun began to peak over the frosted rooftops.
Whoa.
I look around and see so many things I have talked to God about, asked Him for. As his three year old child I talk, and ask; I get excited. I can’t wait. Why don’t I have this yet?!
Again, as my relationship grows I see His Love and provision all around me in very special, particular ways that speak to my heart. The warm fire, the chickens, the sunrise, the family still peacefully snoozing. I’m impressed. I’m thankful. I feel very loved.
I hope as this season’s busyness dies down you feel in your core that love and provision regardless of what you have or what you have achieved. Regardless of whether you deserve it or you planned for it or it aligns with your goals. I hope you are floored with small moments that speak to your heart and solidify your Faith.
